January 2004 / Volume Five / Issue One
Mather Schneider
The Ice Princess Melteth Like an Ice Cube in a Vodka Tonic

On the first day of class I noticed her because she reminded
me of my ex girifriend same model's build same redbrown
hair same stem but striking countenance and when it
so happened that we sat next to each other in two back to
back classes it seemed like fate it was strange when she
spoke to the teacher even her voice was like the other one and
when it finally happened that we got together for a
drink she told me that her friends sometimes refer to her as
the ice princess because she seems cold and devoid of
emotion and I thought about how I had called my ex an
ice princess in one of my last letters to her and I was
about to toss in the towel on this situation it seemed too
bizarre to be successful it was just too eerie when all of a
sudden after the feminine slurp and burp that comes at
the end of a thirsty woman’s drink she blurted out that
she was bisexual and positively goes crazy if she doesn't
have sex at least once a week which caused the other
woman to be banished from my consciousness and with a second
wind I sat up and gave the bartender the peace sign.
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