May 2005 / Volume Six / Issue Three
Mike Estabrook
(I have mowed many lawns in my life,
I have cut a mountain of grass)


I'm mowing the lawn again, yet again,
thinking about my stupid life, admitting
to myself how weak I feel.
I'm a weak man, simple as that, and I'm lost, too,
bewildered and confused. If I count
my blessings there are many, more
than I deserve certainly: an exquisite wife,
the beautiful love of my life, three
wonderful (most of the time) children,
a house, cars and all the rest
of that stupid material bric-a-brac,
and a life-style that permits us to want
for nothing but still, I am lost,
perhaps because there have been big changes
recently, I seem to be standing on a plateau,
my career floundering again, I'm flopping
about like a fish on the cold dry
endless dock of corporate America, gasping
for air, the children are gone,
my health is not sure, retirement
is looming on the horizon, but uncertain
as the stock market. But there is something
really good at least, I remind myself,
as I mow alongside the pretty garden flowers,
my wife hasn't run off yet with the UPS guy.
That is the most important thing, after all.
RETURN to May 2005