throws jars of bees from rooftops and
gives scissors and orange chicken on toothpicks
to paranoid schizophrenics
and is friends with all 659
people on MySpace named Adolf Hitler
he drinks ten Red Bulls in thirty minutes
because he’s off heroin and shows up
at every Q&A Kevin Smith does
he carries a small box of Puffs with
him at all times because he has a very
runny nose and Kleenex can just
fuck right off
he cries when he hears Don Knotts
died, but only because he remembers
John Ritter is dead and the time
he was arrested for stalking
Jenilee Harrison