for ryan
Fleeing bounty hunters
(hired because of impregnated
nieces, gambling debts, bounced
checks, and large phone bills)
James Devl-in, an almost
humanoid with the exception
of bluish scales and
multi-tentacled sex organs,
felt— with his accountant,
an evolved toad named Norm—
a sense of despondency that
must have enveloped Alamo
cheerleaders as they
entered Drako orbit like a
sexually-deprived iguana farmer
(fast and desperate).
They crashed, and an
arsonist stowaway set Rosebud,
the beaten cool shuttle, on fire.
James filed mutiny charges,
and sentenced the arsonist to
an embalming in Norm’s stomach.
After a jog, they encountered
large crickets (6-8 ft. tall).
The crickets communicated with
harpsichords: “Hello. Welcome Strangers.
You must be hungry. Join us
for dinner. Lovely sex organs
you have.”
James borrowed a harpsichord,
and said:
“Thanks, babe. Sure, we’re hungry.
Lead the way.”
The crickets led, playing
the entire 12 mile trip.
“What are they saying?” asked Norm,
a little ill from the arsonist’s
digestive struggles.
“Just gossiping,” said James,
staring at the several asses of
a cricket he believed to
be female.
Entering the town, they
were greeted by crickets
of all shapes.
Their concert said they
wanted James and Norm to
pick their meals.
“Okay,” James plucked.
They were soon
introduced to an enormous
glass aquarium, with approximately
160-175 dirty humans itching,
fighting, fucking, yelling, etc.
“What are they?” strummed James,
he was thinking (like Buddha
with playboys under his pillow)
in ejaculations of enlightenment,
while watching a human female
scratch her crotch.
James thought of
the Voosithians with their
transparent uteri that glow green
with pleasure, and
the OoThepas that have 12 orifices,
and pronounce 114 vowels
simultaneously when stimulated.
“We’re not sure. We found
five of them floating in a phallic-
like shuttle.”