First )
It’s true
if you didn’t
show and tell me
precisely
how to affix
that label
and then layer
over it
a tidy square
of sturdy tape,
I’d fuck it up
for sure
'cause I’m
just so damn stupid.
Second )
And if you
hadn’t listed
on my schedule
(which you
drew up for me
'cause I’m
not smart enough
to draw it up
myself)
directives
to deliver mail
at 11:55
and place
those packages
too large
for pigeonholes
on colleague’s desks,
you know
I’d hammer
those great big parcels
into too small holes
'cause I’m
a fucking idiot,
that’s why.
Third )
And I
so gratefully recall
the day you expected
the Press,
and forbade me
to answer
any questions
because although
it’s me
who once wrote news
and knows
how reporters
get that news,
I can’t be trusted
to speak.
Or think.