January 2005 / Volume VI / Issue I
Matt Smith

Crack Cocaine

the saturday night loser
in flannel pajamas
watching “Cops” in bed
with 3 dogs.
ma’am, are you hiding
crack cocaine
in your rectum? the cop asks.
oh my god, I hope
he doesn’t have to
look in there,
even though he’s a cop.
they call a female                                     
officer to look
in the fat lady’s butt.
not that there’s anything
wrong with fat ladies,
it’s just that this particular
fat lady looks very smelly
and really needs to shave.   
I was glad I stayed home,
what with all
the wasted crack
hiding fat ladies and
butt searching cops
out there.    I’ll think
twice before hiding
anything in my butt.