January 2005 / Volume VI / Issue I
R.M. Engelhardt

What Matters

Iím not leaving.

Itís 7pm in the middle of something
far bigger than anyone can really grasp,
the sun came up this morning and this day
has lasted longer for me than all of them combined.

This afternoon we boarded up the windows
of the house, stopped to wait in the long lines
and get some gas at the convenience store,
bought water at the over crowded super-
market and started to tell the children
about why all the people around us were
acting so strange and when we explained
they still didnít fully understand.

Two hours later and she still has to work at
the hospital, she took the kids there because
they told her that if she didnít come in then
she would be fired and she canít afford
to lose her job in paradise, but at least
the shelter is there & the kids will be alright.

Sometimes, I too wonder what really matters
in this world that someone once said ďwas
fuckedĒ but now I think I understand all of these
mysteries far better than myself.

So I open up another beer, light up another cigarette

And wait.