March 2005 / Volume VI / Issue II
J.J. Campbell

i've been having this dream
lately where i shoot myself
in the head and the proverbial
someone finds me in my room
flopping around in my own blood
like a fish out of water
with a suicide note pinned
on my black t-shirt that says
to the lucky one who stumbles
upon this mess, take the gun
and shoot again, i've never
been known to get anything right
on the first try

then the note goes on to say
something about how this suicide

was not due to my shitty childhood
or the lack of love from my
father or the constant feeling
of failure griping my balls
every morning

this was simply the time to say
goodbye, to bid the world...
so on and so on

and that's when the proverbial
someone picks up the
gun and shoots me
three more times

that's when i wake up laughing
counting my blessings that
i'm not longwinded

for anyone knows that my
suicide note would only
be a coupon for a tv dinner
and a map to a treasure
that never existed to
begin with