waking in the dead of night
bursting
stumbling in the dark
I lift the lid & splutter
an intermittent splash at first
& then
what seems like a never-ending torrent flows out of me
in the calm & moonless night
I hear
a rhythmic foaming
& churning sound,
the distant rattle of a South Coast coal train
suddenly–
in a sharp stab of fear
I try to remember where I am
what I had been doing the evening before,
now
a light is switched on
it is familiar but threatening
there is a shriek–
full of chaos
& terror
& disbelief
then another
more forceful this time–
YOU FUCKING IDIOT!
I am standing
urinating into my wife’s wooden jewelry box
now brimming,
some plastic pink beads
floating near the surface–
savage blows
rail down
from behind
again & again
on the back of my skull
from a weighty book
I’m yelling in fear & pain
quaking with guilt
‘You alright? You alright?’
I hear Jon, the Swedish bloke next door
thumping at the front door window