In the Spectrum pages of the Herald
I read that a world renowned organist
is to conduct a recital of Bach’s Organ Works
at St Mary’s Cathedral on Sunday at 3 PM
I highly admire Bach
& had closely studied a 9 piece scratched vinyl set of his work
for the short Super 8 film 'Death' I had directed in the early 90s
in which I investigated the controversial issue
of whether people died or fucked forever
Being a lapsed agnostic I also saw an opportunity
to once again question my non-beliefs–
& wondered whether the music
would rekindle a new spiritual
non-self
I enter the Church from the southern doors about 2
drop a golden coin, light a proverbial candle
& sit in a pew, staring at the magnificent north stained glass windows
trying to imagine the awe & beatitude of it all–
of angels dancing on pins–
of JC on the cross wailing, railing against authority
of Brothers fondly caressing the smooth organs of corruptible youth
The music soon commences–
a measured gradual uplifting–
an outpouring of notes on notes,
an architecture of sound–
a complex structure emerging
an earthly, rising ring of truth
trembling the walls & floors
sounding through my flesh
shaking open the soul
Astounded, reawakened, I leave the Church
centuries old chords vibrating through me
I catch the train at Town Hall
still buzzing, partially restored–
but soon this wondrous vision, this grand feeling
soon… dissembles...
The idle, the trivial chatter around me
the flash of suburbia penetrating the window
the billboards spewing with empty cynicism
the terrible ordinariness of it all–
that old reoccurring sense of dread returns–
& what is still darkly to come