maternal

look at that whale,
laughed a kid
standing next to me
at the city pool.

yea
that's my
baby-sitter,
i said.

it was my mother

over three hundred pounds

embarrassed
to be seen with her.

that was before
she became a drug addict

lost her job
as a nurse

and tried killing herself
by running her car
into a tree.

i know
next to nothing
about my mother:

she played guitar

was a thespian

worked two jobs
to get herself
through nursing school.

i don't know
what her
dreams are

what they
were

who was the
first boy to
kiss her

or why she
stayed with
my father.

i don't
even know
her middle name.